« Wesabe- A Free Online Money Management Tool | Home | 7 Steps to Financial Success »
5 Ways to Connect with your Child
By Meaghan Montrose | March 17, 2009
Do you want a closer relationship with your child? Do you want to let him/her know that you care about them? Here are five tips to developing respect, understanding, and openness in your relationship with your child.
1. Give your child choices.
This can be as simple as having three options for dinner or as significant as choosing the family vacation spot. Allowing your child to make decisions lets him/her know that their opinion matters. It gives them a sense of importance and independence and will keep them from viewing you as an evil monarch.
2. Participate in his/her interests.
Spend some quality time with your child doing something that interests them. It could be rollerblading, playing video games, building model cars, shopping at the mall, or going to a Jonas Brothers concert. Even if it isn’t your favorite thing to do or you’re not that good at it, your child will appreciate your efforts. (Sometimes this appreciation is less obvious when they are teenagers!) In addition you’ll have more things in common to talk about.
3. Consider your child’s point of view.
Sometimes our kids will think and do something that we believe is beyond ridiculous. Your first reaction may be to reprimand them or tell them they are wrong. Before you do this, stop and think back to when you were a child. Remember how unreasonable and unfair you thought your parents were? I’m not saying you should change your beliefs or rules. Many times parents DO know best. However, it is worth it to consider where your child is coming from and what is important in his or her life. For example, if your daughter just “has to have†a $75 shirt don’t immediately turn her down. Ask her why she wants it and why she thinks she should be allowed to have it. If you think her reasons are appropriate you could make some type of compromise in exchange for the shirt- maybe extra chores for a month.
4. Share a personal story.
There is a clear line between trying to be your child’s best friend and allowing yourself to develop a close relationship with them by opening up. Don’t be afraid to share your emotions, your fears and hopes, or an embarrassing story about yourself (just remember to keep everything age appropriate). This will remind them that you are a person too and maybe they will start to consider your point of view!
5. Try.
The above four tips mean nothing unless you are honestly trying to connect with your child and develop a stronger relationship. Even if things don’t work out perfectly (and really, they never do) the fact that you are giving your time and effort to be close with your child shows them that you care.
Popularity: 18% [?]
Topics: Parenting | 5 Comments »
March 19th, 2009 at 8:38 am
This is absolutely right! And you could let them be a part of making house rules like curfew time. If they feel invested in the rules they are more likely to follow them!
March 22nd, 2009 at 5:48 pm
Well said! No one is going to have a greater impact on the type of person your child becomes than you. It is important to develop that bond and relationship from the beginning and continue to connect with your son or daughter. And trying is the most important thing you can do!
March 27th, 2009 at 2:03 am
I totally agree with all the five tips you give here. Most of the time, children misbehave as a reaction to their parents, and to their environment. And actually, it’s easier than many people think to establish good relationships with children, if you can be patient, open-minded, and empathetic. Thanks for the great post.
Burak
April 1st, 2009 at 8:02 am
[...] 5 Ways to Connect with your Child by Meaghan Montrose [...]
September 25th, 2009 at 10:21 am
[...] those so inclined, check here and here for a couple other points of view from around the Web, or Google/Yahoo/Bing/etc. to your [...]