The focus of this post is on the importance of feeling connected. Part of nurturing a well-rounded child is helping them find their place in the world. A child needs a place where they belong and feel comfortable. Family is the first and most important group that a child belongs to, but there should be other places as well that they feel at home. This can include a sports team, drama club, choir, girl scouts, church group, or dance troupe. These connections provide your child with opportunities to meet new people, improve social skills, make friends, and form a sense of community. The more connected a child feels to one of these positive groups, the less likely they are to partake in destructive behaviors like taking drugs, stealing, or committing acts of violence. Therefore, getting your child involved in SOMETHING is important.

Here are some quick tips on how to help your child feel connected and develop a sense of belonging:

1. Find an activity or group that suits your child.

This may mean trying out a few things and switching if it doesn’t work out. For instance if it is clear your child is not an athlete, steer clear of the sports teams! (Now this does not mean quitting. You don’t want to send a message that it is okay to give up and quit. If your child signs up for basketball and then doesn’t like it, as long as the activity is not causing physical or mental harm, they should finish out the season but then choose not to sign up again.)

2. Make sure the activity or group is for your child, not for you.

Just because you always wanted to be a ballerina doesn’t mean your child should be. Find something that interests your child and works with their abilities and potential.

3. Be supportive.

If your child loves playing the violin, but you can’t stand the sound of it (especially the screechy practicing) keep it to yourself. The sense of connection won’t be worth anything if you make them feel wrong, ashamed, or embarrassed for being a part of it. Clearly show your support by attending recitals or games, hosting meetings at your house, or volunteering for the group/team.

First, let me start by saying that participating in activities is excellent for the development of a child. These organized activities give students a sense of connectedness and belonging. They provide opportunities for students to socialize and make friends. In addition, these activities help a child develop physically and intellectually. Children can learn valuable life lessons and develop self confidence by participating in organized activities.

It is possible, however, to have too much of a good thing. As more and more opportunities are available each day (it wasn’t that long ago that sports teams for girls were virtually nonexistent), parents are signing up their children for everything that they can. The result- overscheduled kids.

Many children today suffer from a form of burnout before they even reach their teens. The pressure to participate in so many activities while still being expected to maintain good grades in school is taking a physical and mental toll on the child. Overscheduled kids are suffering from stress, anxiety, and sleep disorders. These issues can then lead to even more severe problems.

The solution- Your child doesn’t need to give up activities all together, just choose two or three of the activities at a time. If any of the activities require a large time investment I would suggest only doing one other activity. Cutting back will free up some time throughout the week so your child won’t have every moment of their life pre-scheduled. Providing a child with free time to relax, hang out with friends and family, read a book, etc.. is important to their development.

The SavingAdvice.com blog has created a list of 9 ways to Cut the Cost of Lessons and Coaching. These strategies will allow you to keep your child engaged in an activity that is rewarding and fun without causing a strain on the family’s finances.

One suggestion is to look into group lessons instead of private lessons. Your child will learn the same skills in a small group setting but for a fraction of the cost of an individual lesson. Check out the post for more ways to keep the lessons in your budget!

Well, it is time to get with the times and venture into the texting world (it may be the only way to reach your darling child!). The Pajama Mommy Community blog has a post of Texting Tips for Parents. The post goes through some of the basic do’s and don’ts of texting in general and texting to your child.

One suggestion from the list of tips is to adjust your cell phone plan to make sure texting is included. You don’t want to end up with an enormous bill at the end of the month. Click on the link to check out the rest of the texting tips.

The first step is to identify the problem. Does your child not want to go to school? Is your child’s desire to stay home so intense that they will cry or become sick in the fight to avoid school? These actions may be a sign that your child is suffering from school anxiety or a school phobia.

The warning signs of this issue go beyond the basic complaints of most children (especially older ones) that seem to be based on laziness or a general desire to stay home and play and not go to do work at school. An occasional want to stay home is normal, so just because your child doesn’t want to go to school on a particular day doesn’t mean they have school anxiety. The indicators of this disorder are more intense and more frequent.

Some warning signs to look for in your child are:

1. They suddenly claim to be sick during school days or right before school.

2. They actually become physically sick and/or visibly upset during school days or right before school. This may include vomiting, shaking, uncontrollable crying, or a sudden quiet and somber demeanor.

3. They often visit the nurse at school to complain of minor physical symptoms such as a stomach ache or headache.

4. They do not like to discuss their day at school.

5. They frequently ask to go in to school late or leave early or stay home all together.

6. They have little or no friends from school.

7. They do not want to participate in any extra curricular activities or other school-related events.

8. They never have a positive comment to share about school.

If you have noticed any of these signs in your child, they may be suffering from school anxiety or a fear of school. So, what do you do now?

1. Talk to you child.

Sometimes he/she is consciously aware of the reason or reasons that they are anxious about school. Even if they aren’t quite sure, talking about it may bring some issues to light.

2. Don’t ignore the problem.

Trying to brush off the problem by saying “don’t worry” or “you are being a baby” or “get over it” is not going to help. Your child has a serious psychological issue and you must treat it as such. It is important to be sensitive and validate their feelings and concerns even if they seem unfounded.

3. Make contact with the school and set up meetings.

You should meet with the teacher, principal, the school guidance counselor, social worker, and/or psychologist, (these meetings may or may not involve the child). The purpose is to make as many people in the school aware of the situation as possible and develop strategies for dealing with it.

4. Encourage participation.

Try to get your child involved in other aspects of school such as clubs, sports teams, or socials. Getting involved in non-academic activities can spark an interest in going to school and also help your child connect with other students.

5. Don’t give in.

Although it may be tough to force your child to go to school when they are nervous or anxious, letting your child stay home whenever they want will enable them to miss more days in the future. Although you want to be sensitive to their fears (this is where advice from the counselor, social worker, and psychologist is important) you don’t want to allow them to simply walk away or give up if something is challenging. Instead, try a compromise of going to school in small doses (such as half a school day) and work up to longer days.

If you feel like your children are about to declare World War III, Tamara’s Tips for Life, Parenting, and Working from Home is here to help. Tamara’s blog has recently posted a list of Ten Ways to Ease Sibling Rivalry.

The post provides some tips for keeping the peace between your children. One of the suggestions is to allow each child to have their own room (or perhaps at least their own space in the house). This gives each child some privacy and a place away from other siblings.

As a parent it is our job to guide our children through these difficult transitions. The good news is we don’t have to do it alone. There are family and friends to help and a huge bank of resources available on the internet.

The Simple Mom blog has recently posted a list of 14 Books to Help Ease Children Through Transitions. The books are great supplements and conversation starters to use when helping your child adjust to a change in his/her life. Some of the transitions highlighted in the post are Starting School, Death, and Divorce. The post provides the book title, author, and a brief description.

In my searches over the past week, I have found a few blog posts that contain suggestions, tips, and strategies to encourage reading and develop reading skills for your children. Check out these posts and help your children become life-long learners with a love of reading!

The SimpleMom.net shares a list of 10 Great Authors in Children’s Literature. These suggestions are geared towards early readers who are just starting.

The Successful Teaching blog has two posts on the topic. The first one discusses Reading and Writing Strategies to help children understand what they are reading.

The second post is a list written by the author about Why I Read. I think the idea behind this post is wonderful. It lists reasons why reading can be useful, enjoyable, and necessary. This is a great activity to do with your children. Together, you and your child can make a list of why reading is important. You can keep it on your fridge and add new reasons as you think of them.

HomeSchoolBytes.com has put together a post of Favorite Chapter Books Your Kids will Love to Read. These are great books to read together and then discuss with your child. You’ll enjoy them just as much as they do!

Pajama Mommy Community recently posted an article about choosing the best summer camp for your child. The post highlights the Champions Day Camp at Lakeway Resort and Spa in Austin, Texas. Even if you don’t live in the area this is a great post to check out. The director of the camp shares key points to consider when choosing a summer camp for your child. Make the right choice after reading How to Choose the Best Summer Camp for Your Children.

1. Find reading material that interests your child. If your son or daughter is interested in sports, try subscribing to a magazine such as Sports Illustrated for kids to stimulate their interest.

2. Make books a reward or treat instead of forcing them on your child. Give your child books as a gift for their birthday/holiday or give them a gift card so they can pick out their own. This helps to make books exciting and something to look forward to.

3. Read together. Find a book you are both interested in. You can take turns reading aloud to each other or read separately, then discuss.

4. Get rid of distractions. Set aside some time during the week when there is no TV, radio, video games, etc… allowed. This down time will highlight reading a book as an enjoyable option.

5. Be a role model. The best way to encourage reading is to let your children see you reading. Let them know you find reading helpful and fun!