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School Anxiety: The Warning Signs and What to Do
By Meaghan Montrose
There are many students who are happy and excited to go back to school. They look forward to seeing their friends, meeting this year’s teachers, and learning new things. Unfortunately, there are also some students who would do anything not to go to school. How do you deal with this as a parent?
The first step is to identify the problem. Does your child not want to go to school? Is your child’s desire to stay home so intense that they will cry or become sick in the fight to avoid school? These actions may be a sign that your child is suffering from school anxiety or a school phobia.
The warning signs of this issue go beyond the basic complaints of most children (especially older ones) that seem to be based on laziness or a general desire to stay home and play and not go to do work at school. An occasional want to stay home is normal, so just because your child doesn’t want to go to school on a particular day doesn’t mean they have school anxiety. The indicators of this disorder are more intense and more frequent.
Some warning signs to look for in your child are:
1. They suddenly claim to be sick during school days or right before school.
2. They actually become physically sick and/or visibly upset during school days or right before school. This may include vomiting, shaking, uncontrollable crying, or a sudden quiet and somber demeanor.
3. They often visit the nurse at school to complain of minor physical symptoms such as a stomach ache or headache.
4. They do not like to discuss their day at school.
5. They frequently ask to go in to school late or leave early or stay home all together.
6. They have little or no friends from school.
7. They do not want to participate in any extra curricular activities or other school-related events.
8. They never have a positive comment to share about school.
If you have noticed any of these signs in your child, they may be suffering from school anxiety or a fear of school. So, what do you do now?
1. Talk to you child.
Sometimes he/she is consciously aware of the reason or reasons that they are anxious about school. Even if they aren’t quite sure, talking about it may bring some issues to light.
2. Don’t ignore the problem.
Trying to brush off the problem by saying “don’t worry†or “you are being a baby†or “get over it†is not going to help. Your child has a serious psychological issue and you must treat it as such. It is important to be sensitive and validate their feelings and concerns even if they seem unfounded.
3. Make contact with the school and set up meetings.
You should meet with the teacher, principal, the school guidance counselor, social worker, and/or psychologist, (these meetings may or may not involve the child). The purpose is to make as many people in the school aware of the situation as possible and develop strategies for dealing with it.
4. Encourage participation.
Try to get your child involved in other aspects of school such as clubs, sports teams, or socials. Getting involved in non-academic activities can spark an interest in going to school and also help your child connect with other students.
5. Don’t give in.
Although it may be tough to force your child to go to school when they are nervous or anxious, letting your child stay home whenever they want will enable them to miss more days in the future. Although you want to be sensitive to their fears (this is where advice from the counselor, social worker, and psychologist is important) you don’t want to allow them to simply walk away or give up if something is challenging. Instead, try a compromise of going to school in small doses (such as half a school day) and work up to longer days.
Topics: Child Development, Parenting | 1 Comment »
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