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The Importance of Finding a Connection
By Meaghan Montrose
Recently I wrote a post about the issues of having an over-scheduled child. Having your child participating in everything from soccer to karate to piano lessons can cause unneeded stress. On the other hand, it is equally problematic (if not more so) to have your child not participating in anything!
The focus of this post is on the importance of feeling connected. Part of nurturing a well-rounded child is helping them find their place in the world. A child needs a place where they belong and feel comfortable. Family is the first and most important group that a child belongs to, but there should be other places as well that they feel at home. This can include a sports team, drama club, choir, girl scouts, church group, or dance troupe. These connections provide your child with opportunities to meet new people, improve social skills, make friends, and form a sense of community. The more connected a child feels to one of these positive groups, the less likely they are to partake in destructive behaviors like taking drugs, stealing, or committing acts of violence. Therefore, getting your child involved in SOMETHING is important.
Here are some quick tips on how to help your child feel connected and develop a sense of belonging:
1. Find an activity or group that suits your child.
This may mean trying out a few things and switching if it doesn’t work out. For instance if it is clear your child is not an athlete, steer clear of the sports teams! (Now this does not mean quitting. You don’t want to send a message that it is okay to give up and quit. If your child signs up for basketball and then doesn’t like it, as long as the activity is not causing physical or mental harm, they should finish out the season but then choose not to sign up again.)
2. Make sure the activity or group is for your child, not for you.
Just because you always wanted to be a ballerina doesn’t mean your child should be. Find something that interests your child and works with their abilities and potential.
3. Be supportive.
If your child loves playing the violin, but you can’t stand the sound of it (especially the screechy practicing) keep it to yourself. The sense of connection won’t be worth anything if you make them feel wrong, ashamed, or embarrassed for being a part of it. Clearly show your support by attending recitals or games, hosting meetings at your house, or volunteering for the group/team.
Topics: Child Development, Parenting | No Comments »